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Please Find the Exit: Tyler, 25, Financial Planning hopeful


I am in finance and accounting recruitment: I try to find people employment in exchange for a tidy commission.

Ah, the thrill of the hunt. Will I ever tire of it? The endless parade of job hopefuls, each more “ambitious” than the last, marching by one after the other hoping that I’ll put them forward for a six figure salary.

This series is a short collection of things that make me sad in my job.

Name: Tyler

Job he is applying for: Junior Financial Planner

Qualification: Bachelor of Economics, Masters in Finance & 1 year working experience at a boutique investment planning company.

I can tell he loves: Himself.

I can tell he dislikes: Washing his hands.

Rule: Don’t answer a call from me if you are obviously in the toilet.

I’d imagine that at least 48% of texts we receive are composed while people are on the toilet. It’s not that big of a deal. You have no way of knowing whether someone text you from the toilet or not. It’s a victimless crime. Answering a call from your recruiter while you are clearly in the bathroom is not.

I called Tyler and everything seemed to be going swimmingly: He had great references, nice qualification, a good English accent (heyo!).

2 minutes in the conversation he stands up and walks into the bathroom and so begins surround sound audio of him going to the toilet while he tells me about his aspirations to be in the finance industry.

I pretended to ignore the sound and continue filling out my candidate checklist. But there’s a million questions running through my head: Did he wash his hands? Is he unhygienic? Is his house gross?

Sadly, Tyler didn’t get a call back.

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