NOTES FROM SAM AND SARAH

Why I am the queen of making life difficult

On why I have an advanced degree in making things hard

I am the kind of person who will sling 1500kg of grocery bags over three fingers, because I’d rather lose a digit than take a second trip to the car. Screw two trips! I need to get up these seven million stairs with my eight million groceries so that I can lay on my bed, procrastinate, stalk people on social media and then wait out the clock until I have left sufficiently too little time to possibly get ready in time.

Long story short. I’m the master of making life hard. I have a degree in it.

Why? Because I get a high from smashing iPhones?

Because I’m addicted to getting parking fines?

(**The answer to those questions is obviously no.) 

I don’t know why I do it. I just do. My only solace is in knowing that I’m not the only one.

Just this very morning I ventured to a brand new café that has opened downstairs and my immediate thoughts are that your chef is on drugs if he thinks that salmon muffins are something that people want in their mouths. “I love muffins. I love salmon. What can go wrong?” he said. Literally everything.

You are just making things complicated. It’s like your muffins have been made by someone who has never tasted muffins, just seen pictures of them in magazines.

And that’s really the problem. We try to do too much, too fast, too often – and the result is salmon muffins.

I am not asking us to disconnect from the internet, use candles and fall in love with the written word… quite the opposite actually.

It’s seems almost habit that we’re making life so damn difficult for ourselves. Why do we put things off until the never-arriving tomorrow and make everything so much more difficult than it need be?

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Your career, your job, your 9 – 5 – your life 2.0.

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Why I am the queen of making life difficult
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