At Blackren High, local 10th grade Math’s teacher Mr. Tenner claims to have found the holy grail – a way to teach without actually teaching. Evolutionary Reporter Mike Hunt caught up with Tenner after school yesterday.
‘Mate, all you have to do is get a diploma in teaching then learn a truckload of prayers to say during the lessons – the kid’s love it. It’s practically free money for me. Everyone wins’, Tenner exclaimed.
Tenner claims he has mastered the art of dragging out the lesson with such a long prayer that the whole lesson is wasted.
‘The key is consistency. There’s no point just doing it on the days where you’re too tired to teach the little pests. That’s why I’ve started doing it every lesson, every day.’
According to student Ellis Skent, Mr. T (as the cool kids cool him) hasn’t taught them any actual maths for the past five weeks.
‘Today, he rocked up 10 minutes late then spent the remaining 40 minutes praying to Saint Cajetan for a miracle in our upcoming half-yearlies. When the bell rang, he sprinted out of class and forgot to take his Bible with him. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure he’s even religious.’
Concerns have been voiced by the student prefect committee, but none of them could be bothered lodging a formal complaint – instead choosing to fiercely debate the best course of action over a compulsory lunch-time meeting which achieved nothing.
Has the holy grail been found? It certainly seems that way.