JUST JOKING

“Selling my 1D portraits. $35. Can do portraits on request too, DM me.”

“Employment expert, Phil Clarke argues, “It is important to emphasise that there is a significant difference between ‘interests’ and ’employability’.”

A study indicates that the already staggeringly high rate of Youth Australian unemployment is only set to grow, argues Phil Clarke, employment expert.

An economist by trade, Clarke has collected data from employers and from job seekers living in Sydney, with confronting results.

After surveying members of each party, Mr Clarke found a mass disconnect between the tasks that employers are in need of, and the tasks that job seekers are interested in pursuing, “young people just want to ‘do what they love’. But you know, most teens you meet just love memes and fidget-spinners.”

“I just want a graduate that will satisfy the entry level requirements, you know, transcribing meetings, formatting reports… even just learning from their account managers,” Mr Dixon, a HR representative from a property development firm said of the survey’s findings.

“Instead, I get people saying that they want to use their ‘social media’, ‘health wellbeing’ or ‘digital convergence’ skills to ‘innovate’ the industry. I don’t want someone to create a business hashtag that will ‘take our voice to the streets,’ I just want someone who can use excel and word.”

The Footnotes spoke to current job seeker Jessica Palmer who exclaimed of her experience, “ I love calligraphy – always have, always will. I studied it for three years. THREE YEARS! And now I can’t find a job anywhere. Instead I’ve started selling portraits of celebrities.

“The Australian government are severely detached from the reality of what’s going on for young people of today. We need more jobs!!”

Want to know which industries are actually on the hunt for graduates? Or want to know what the highest and lowest paying jobs are?

“Selling my 1D portraits. $35. Can do portraits on request too, DM me.”
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