The Footnotes

JUST JOKING

Study concludes dropout rates will soar following Macquarie University’s O-Week flash mob

“I knew it [University] wasn’t for me when they started performing a pre-rehearsed dance to the song, Bills by Lunchmoney Lewis”

Macquarie University is experiencing an unparalleled spike in course dropouts just days after new students laid their pristine, parent-funded Adidas on campus.

Attempts to befriend The Youths with flash mobs, sausage sizzle clubs and inflatable tube men are expected to result in a record-breaking dropout rate.

An unnamed university admissions co-ordinator has commented on this staggering figure stating that, “I blame the giant Instagram cut out that’s being passed around. No one’s going to believe a Uni Instagram post has a million likes. The Social Media Marketing course is a wasteland now.”  

O Week flash Mob

Who caught our #MQOweek flashmob today? Move over Sydney Dance Company #crushedit

تم نشره بواسطة ‏‎Macquarie University Campus‎‏ في 22 فبراير، 2017

“I’m enrolled as a Marketing major but I’m having second thoughts,” local student Amanda (18) comments. “I haven’t seen an inflatable tube man outside of a used car sale before…”.

A Statistics professor who wishes to remain anonymous has told The Footnotes, “I haven’t been this embarrassed since they did Gangnam style in 2012.

 If they try dabbing next I don’t know what I’ll do.”

 

Things are no better over the bridge at the University of Technology Sydney with students saying sayonara to a successful O-Week with stadium favourite, ‘the wave’ despite three rows of students.

“At least we have the toga party” MQ student Amanda concludes.

Study concludes dropout rates will soar following Macquarie University’s O-Week flash mob
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