JUST JOKING

“Jack could have fit on the raft” Arts Master thesis claims

Critics say of her thesis, “This piece of literature just confirms that the arts degree remains the tertiary equivalent of a question mark”.

Arts Master (2017), Ruth Button has spent her Masters year confirming that Jack could have fit on the floating door in the final scenes of Titanic.

Over the past two years she has been receiving $650 a week in Youth Allowance, the government’s benefit system helping students make ends meet while they study full time, to support her Masters essay.

Her main form of evidence was a series of photographs showing an aerial view of the original raft, with Rose lying on it and Jack hanging on in the water. The photos then recreate the scene on land, with a man and a woman in different configurations, showing how the two young lovers might easily have fit on the raft.

Of her now completed studies Ruth faces the prospects of a scary job market. “It’s quite difficult to find work, even with such a solid degree in science, human balance and its affects in artic conditions in the 1920’s”.

We contacted film director Cameron who commented, “This just confirms that the arts degrees remain the tertiary equivalent of a question mark. It’s not a question of space, it’s a question of buoyancy. If Jack, who is a fictional character, got on the door – which acted as the raft,  they would have been immersed into the water and died from exposure to the elements.”  

Of her future Ruth comments, I am thinking of going back to do a PhD in the Arts if I can’t find work soon. I am interested in determining how Harambe’s murder would be trialled and sentenced if Apes could speak and ran a democracy.”

Know an Arts student? I bet they fit into any one of these 9 stereotypes. 

“Jack could have fit on the raft” Arts Master thesis claims
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

To Top