JUST JOKING

“If you’re not early you’re late” mantra sends hospitality worker to psych facility

“If you want me there at 5:45. Make my shift start at 5:45.”

Hospitality worker Elise (20) has been rushed to her local hospital’s psych facility over the weekend following the umpteenth, “If you’re not early, you’re late” lashing from her mid-level manager.

A repeated phrase that grips the hearts of every shift worker, “If you’re not early, you’re late,” is the leading cause of mental illness among hospitality-employed Australians. Due, in large part, to the spittle that accosts them during said recitation (and lack of monetary reward for additional hours).

This common phrase, spewed forth at every single shift change, has resulted in a deep-set psychosis for Elise and dozens before her, hospital staff explain.

Speaking from her bed, soft-restraints still in place, Elise tells us her side of the story.

“I just doesn’t make sense,” she says, eyes twitching. “If you want me there at 5:45. Make my shift start at 5:45. I only get paid for my official hours yet every shift I’m told to get here earlier and earlier. I clean the bathrooms for $6.80 an hour… I’ve been punished enough.”

It was at this moment that a single spec of jelly fell from Elise’s hospital tray and we are ushered out as she collapsed into tears, worried at the thought of spending more of her precious youth cleaning mass-produced plastic.

More to follow.

While you wait, relate to 27 things you’ll know if you’ve ever worked in hospitality.

Or if you’re sick of your current sitch, find a new one:

“If you’re not early you’re late” mantra sends hospitality worker to psych facility
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